On a personal note....

For some reason, I'm up late and my mind is running about so much. Things have been pretty interesting the past couple of months. I've been to three different locations of my company and finally have settled at a location which is pretty close to home. I am in love with working in the city. Since Spring is kind of here, I love walking around on my lunch break discovering things, getting some fresh air and to think. I found this juice and burrito bar right down and the street and I love it. I also found a cookie place that I've been to once...so far. I also found a shopping area and love the little area near my building where I can sit and just relax. I've also been in school and trying to juggle everything else and it seems a bit overwhelming to me. I feel like sometimes I try to take on too much. It's just crazy how I jumped right back into school and I've been out for a while. I was debating on if getting my masters degree would be worth it or not? I struggled with it for a long time but it seemed like the right thing when I got that bump to full time. Would this really help my career? Now I honestly think so and I'm only in my first class but I believe it will all be worth it in the end. When I first started back, I saw the course work and what was required, I got a little scared and thought this was going to be too much. This was the graduate level work, I had to really think and explain my thoughts and open my mind and thoughts. I thought I wasn't going to be able to do this but after doing the work and reading and getting a "B" on my first paper, I'm feeling a little better now. I know that I made the right decision. I don't feel as scared anymore and know I'll be alright.

Sometimes I find myself looking at others and thinking "Man, they have it all together and in place where I thought I would be now. What am I doing wrong? What didn't I do"? I've been learning that you can't look at others because you have no idea what they are going through. Everyone is not perfect and neither is life. I'll admit it sometimes to putting on a front like I'm happy some days and got it together when I'm really upset, angry or sad about something. I don't let people see that sometimes but some days I can't help it and its written all over my face. Envy and jealously are evil things and you shouldn't let them consume you. It takes a lot not to be like "I wished I looked like that, Why don't I have that dream job yet, Why don't I have a house and people younger than me have one or two"? Everyone's journey is different and your path may not reflect your peers but you will reach your destination. Everything you want in life will work out and you will get those things when you are supposed to. I've been learning that and I know that the things I want are starting to fall into place and the rest will come. I've worked hard to get promoted to full time status and now I can be a little more financially stable, I can now pursue my masters degree and get ahead in my career. I recently purchased editing software so my videos can be better and I can do more. I'm starting to find my focus and drive, I just had to be patient and wait. I was trying to rush things and I didn't realize that my journey is not mapped out like everyone else. I am myself for a reason and very happy in my skin. Well, I would love to have my abs back but I need to get myself back in the gym lol!! I have really fallen off on working out and slacked off a bit on the healthy eating. I know I will find my way back and find time for it.

I love how much I've been growing and learning about myself over time. I was scared to grow up and be a "real" adult but things are not as bad as they seem. Life is one big adventure to me and I'm enjoying all the good and bad that come with it.