It seems like Summer is here already with this weather. It has been pretty warm lately. A while back I wrote a post about friendship. You can see that post RIGHT HERE.
Since then I started to sort of distance myself from certain people due to actions that have done or noticed that they have changed. I was never the friend who really said anything or told someone about themselves when they needed to hear it. That wasn't me. I was the goofy, wild, life of the party friend who always made everyone laugh. I was also there when you needed somewhere to stay or something happened, I was there. I feel like I expected so much out of other people but what was I giving back in return? Was I actually the bad friend and placing blame on others?
Friendship was so much easier when we were younger. You just played all day, shared laughs, sleepovers, talked on the phone about boys and school for hours and it was a no judgement zone. You didn't talk about your friend, was always loyal, there when they were about to fight, cheering them on when they finally had the courage to approach their crush and so on. I noticed that friendships started changing when junior high school and high school hit. You started growing into yourself, worried more about fitting in, boyfriends and so on. The gossiping and spreading rumors started and the demand of friendship changed. You are dealing with rumors, break ups, pregnancy scares, the pressure to have sex, who you were sleeping with and so on. I felt very much left out of some of those conversations because I wasn't doing a lot of those things and I noticed that I didn't have many "friends", just people I associated myself with.
When I went away to college, it was my first time away from home. I was in a new environment and I wasn't near anyone I that I knew. I was scared that I wouldn't know too many people and just be to myself. My roommate introduced me to a lot of her friends and I felt like I fit in. One day I saw sign ups for the cheerleading team and thought it was a good idea so I can meet some more people on campus. I ended meeting people who I discovered the real meaning of friendship from. We were all there for each other, hung out together, talked out issues or problems and supportive of each other. I can remember one time we went into the city to go out and my car got towed from the spot we were parked. I was freaking out thinking how I was going to pay for this. They all put in their money to help me get met car out without me even asking for help. I realized that was what friendship really is.
Now, I'm still growing and trying to discover myself and I feel like my version of friendship has been a little screwed. I am so quick to be done with someone for not being supportive, knowing that they talk shit about me and smile in my face, changed in ways I didn't like but did I say something? Have I been there for them? Have I checked in on them? I can most likely answer no to most of these questions. I honestly know I need to work on being a better friend myself. Yes, I am putting myself on blast and being very transparent. I know that I am flawed and not afraid to admit it. I am working on myself one day at a time.
See you guys Thursday.
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Very insightful post Drea! I think as we age we learned more about ourselves and the friendships we want tp continue and want to improve. I agree it seems like when you're young friendship is so easy, but as we age, we sometimes grow apart from people and that's okay too. I've learned that a lot of issues can be resolved with communication, and some friendships I've had to let go. Friendships truly can be a learning experience.
ReplyDeleteThank you Pilar!
DeleteDon't be too hard on yourself girl. It takes two people to have a friendship or lack of one. I have never been that person with TONS of friends. I have also been that person who says it like it is. So maybe thats why I don't have a ton or maybe its because I didn't really come out of my shell until a few years ago. I have always had a handful of really close friends and have had the same ones for 15-20 years now. I didn't meet any people that I stayed friends with while in college because I went there to learn and thats it. So now at 31 I still have only a few close friends. My circle has gotten even smaller due to people drifting apart as well as my friends having kids and moving away. I don't have any kids so I feel like ive grown apart alot from my friends that have kids now. It's kind of sad and I miss those friendships but at the same time I know it happens. I have also reconnected with others and made some new friendships. I think this circle will continue throughout our lives.
ReplyDeleteI agree Tanya, sometimes I can be hard on myself but it is a two way thing. Thanks for reading!
DeleteA lot of good food for thought.
ReplyDeleteNo one can be the perfect friend but is there such an animal.
Thanks for stopping by Jo!
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